Sunday, August 22, 2010

Homage to the Liver

If I had to choose a word to describe this year
it would be wretched...
I don't want to sit here on the pity pot
telling you all the horrible things
that have happened to me
there are too many people
experiencing their own unbelievable realities
as I'm writing this...
I simply would like to tell you a story...

I am a person who is easily saddened
anger is not a frequent guest in my vocabulary

This year I have found myself
filling up almost daily
on enormous portions of anger
I ache with it, cry from it
 squirm, stew, tremble
 and swell up from it
there have been days
when the anger is like a fire
burning brighter than all the rest of me...

Since I was a little girl
I have been more afraid of anger
than I am of the dark

I was telling a dear friend
who is wise in the ways of healing
about my fears
and she told me:
that in Chinese Medicine, the liver is the body's center of anger

I had never thought much about my liver before
but as I fell asleep that night
I couldn't stop obsessing
about the damage
I must have done to my poor little liver
these past months

Then in my dreams
my liver had wings that shimmered
she was like some great warrior goddess
roaming the world
battling injustice
she seemed to be floating passed me
on a body like Winged Victory

Tiny liver warriors
wearing roman sandals
on their pudgy feet
followed behind her
conquering all
that stood in their way

Had Fellini invaded my dreams?

I awakened quite normally
to that glowing hour
somewhere between morning and night
bringing with me
 that image of my little winged victory
like a talisman
against anger

ps next time you find yourself growing angry...
     think about your liver

1 comment:

  1. mom, i've been reading these backwards...i started from the most recent, and and am reading to the ones I missed since I was away. I found myself laughing out loud, and then at the ones about then our family and roneven crying. they are all beautiful. xoxox