Wednesday, August 25, 2010

one can bear grief but it takes two to be glad

I'll never hear the rich chocolate velvet sound of his voice again
We won't go to the ballet or the theatre or an art exhibit together
or share a meal, simple or special
I can't bake him lemon bars anymore...
There will be no talk of that trip to Italy
we might finally take someday
at least I've been to Italy
it was always one of his dreams to go...to Italy...
I can imagine him there...
How dashing he would have looked
riding in a gondola as it skimmed along the water of the Grand Canal...
Sometimes I have pictured him sitting,
a Great and Noble Knight at King Arthur's Round Table
He was the kind of friend who would have slayed a dragon
if I asked...
and his bear hugs were the best!

Yesterday, one of the people I love most in the world died...
it was not unexpected...

As I sit here writing this
all the comforting cliches
that flood my thoughts
seem meaningless
ridiculous, useless...
but I am wondering...
does grief that is all at once
so numbing and yet, so fierce
can this grief be so powerful
that it actually shrinks your heart...

ps I love you Ronald...always

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