Monday, October 25, 2010

when lightning struck

I was turning out my beside lamp
when suddenly
my head was smashed
with an explosion of pain
and light and bright
and a wave of dizziness knocked me backwards...

I wanted to scream
to throw up, to cry
to bury myself under my comforter
to pass out and float away
to oblivion...I didn't care where that was...

It was raining outside,
a lovely lullaby of pitter, patter and ping...
Instead of rocking gently to sleep
lightning struck me between the eyes
in the shelter of my own room...
The only thing rocking me
was a migraine that legends are made of...

When did I get trapped inside a jack-in-the-box?
Up and down...Up and down...
I've had headaches like this before
but not in awhile...
Up and down...Up and down...
I couldn't remember what to do?
Let me out of here...please...please...

I rushed to the bathroom sink...
I thought that I wanted to throw up
but I didn't...
Cold water...I splashed some on my face...
As I'm drying my face off
I notice my reflection trying to tell me something
but my head starts pounding and I'm dizzy again...
All I can think is make it STOP!
Make it stop before my brain escapes... 

I put my head down on the cold bathroom counter
wrapping my arms over it and squeezing tight
as if this will hold everything in...
I need to take my pill.
I need to get my ice bag.
I need to drink a real coke.

I left my head resting on the cool bathroom counter
where I felt temporarily safe...
but the feeling was gone with a FLASH!

Fireworks...I love fireworks!
Why are they stinging?
Why are the fireworks blasting straight into my eyes?

Memory is a peculiar entity...
sticky, adaptable, adjustable, precarious...

Somehow I ended up on the family room couch
curled into myself
like a snail within its shell
hoping to protect my head
which seemed so soft,
so destructible...

Rain was falling in gentle circles
on the pale blue surface of our pool
when David came to wake me up
and guide me to the warmth
of my own bed

"Go back to sleep," he says softly.
"You need your rest after lightning strikes."
I think I was smiling as I closed my eyes...

I slept on and off
as the rain fell
sometimes gently, sometimes not
that whole gray day

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