Wednesday, December 15, 2010

kissing boo boo-s

Today my twins, Ariana and Brandon, are 35 years old.
On the movie reel of them,
the one that continually plays
inside my head,
I can see them experiencing
so many childhood moments...

I can still feel the weight of them
when they were first put into my arms...
hear the softness of their breathing
against my cheek as I held them
so close...
vowing to protect them,
cherish them, teach them...
try my best to make their dreams
come true...

One of my dreams was to be a mother.
I'm the oldest of four,
I was always baby sitting,
I taught preschool and Saturday school...
I even wanted to be a Gramma
when I was old enough.

But kids do grow up
and they should...
Each stage of life offers opportunities,
perspective, understanding, deeper loving
and unfortunately, sorrows...

As I write this tonight,
I can still smell the baby powder
as it blended with my Shalimar...

Ariana has systemic lupus...
I'm there for her 
but it's her fight
and she's a Warrior Goddess...

Brandon has his own demons
to conquer and sadly, for now,
he's not letting me be there...

I wish it was as simple
as it was when they were little
and everything was alright
after Mommy kissed their boo boo...

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