Saturday, January 22, 2011

how quickly we forget

This week has been one of those weeks...
A headache week,
A week filled with MS buzzes, tingles, twitches...

Day after day of carrying heavy arms,
walking on shaky legs
and fingers that short circuit and blow up,
going numb as I try to type on the computer,
write a note or turn the page of a book....

It's all happened before...
It will all happen again...
like that movie,
Ground Hog's Day...

Everything matters, nothing matters very much...

What surprised me this time
was that I forgot
or let myself forget
about the power
of my migraine pills...

It's not that I don't have headaches all the time...
I have some kind of headache daily...
A doctor once told me,
"think of the headaches on a scale of 1-10"

Anything under 5,
I use my other pills
or tough it out...
and my secret weapon,
I drink a real coke...

Well, the other morning,
it was all too much...
my left eye was throbbing,
I was restless, sleep wasn't an option...

I ripped open the packet
and as I had many times before,
took the migraine pill.

I wasn't hungry
but I never like the pills
landing on an empty stomach
so I had some tea and toast...

I try not to rush about
but I seemed to be moving
in great loopy circles
like a naughty crayon,
scribbling faster and faster...

"Just get ready slowly,"
I tell myself...
So I put some toothpaste
on my electric toothbrush...

it's not the real kind,
just one that has a control
in the handle...

Anyway, I turn it on
start to brush my teeth
and WHOA!!!

My teeth, which I didn't realize
until that moment
when the electrical jolt
of my faux electric tooth brush
presses against them,
feel like chunks of thick, icy glass...

The jolt of the brush
against the frosty chunks of my teeth
sends a current of power
down my legs
and my toes start to curl up
inside my slippers...

My hand is pulsing,
and unable to react quickly
as it holds the brush,
and one lone dangling finger
fumbles for the tiny tiny button
in the handle that will make it all stop...

I finally dropped the toothbrush
into the sink...
and left it there vibrating,
as I collapsed to the floor
laughing,
in a pile of poodles...

Everything matters, nothing matters very much...

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