Saturday, January 8, 2011

waiting for signs from the universe

This morning I woke up early
after a particularly restless night
to go to Ethan's first basketball game...

Today also would have been my Sheila's birthday...
and as is my ritual,
last night at sundown
I lit a candle for her...
silently hoping it would blaze
an extra day...

The basketball game was delightful!
The 7 and 8 year old boys,
all dangling arms and legs,
dashing back and forth,
excited to be a part of something
greater than themselves...
And Ethan made a basket!

Could that be a sign?

After the game,
David stopped at a great little French restaurant/ bakery
to pick up a loaf of freshly baked olive bread
to bring home for our breakfast...

It was amazing...
simply slathered with butter,
with every bite
the lavender hills of Provence
swayed in the distance...

Maybe, another sign...
Sheila, a fabulous cook and baker
would have adored that bread...

After cleaning up the dishes
and glancing through the newspaper,
I felt overwhelmingly sleepy...
not tired but sleepy
like a small child who cannot stay awake...

David had his own plans for the afternoon
and nothing that I was thinking about doing
was urgent or could not wait...
so I crawled back into bed
followed by three ridiculously happy poodles,
falling fast asleep
as soon as my head touched my pillow...

I don't remember dreaming...
I barely recall feeling Lilirosie and
Gaby huddled next to me...
Usually, I flip and flop around
like a fish out of water...
But as I slept on,
a magical aura of stillness held everything,
me, the poodles, the bed, the air...

I opened my eyes to a dusky sky
and just for a moment that aura lingered...
Then all three dogs sprang up at once
barking wildly as the front door creaked open...

David walked into the bedroom
the poodles clamoring to greet him...
He smiled as he said,
"You really were exhausted..."

Today as I think back
over what happened,
I can't help but believe
Sheila helped me
get the rest I needed...

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