Thursday, March 3, 2011

scrambled eggs

When I was first diagnosed they told me if I ever got the flu that it would be quite an experience...
They DID NOT LIE!

Almost 6 weeks later and I'm still not doing so terrific...
Everything matters, nothing matters very much...

My neurologist said that I would be weak for the next few months...
He advised going slowly, pacing myself,
not being so hard on myself...
as he knows I can be...

Imagine that...
Permission from the doctor...
Permission to do what?
I don't feel like doing anything
that the doctor's permission would give me absolution from later...

So, this is what it's been like...scrambled eggs!
My mind, my body...
all of me is scrambled up!
It's as if some master of mischief
took a whisk to me...
got creative, had a blast,
and couldn't stop...

The physical stuff I can put
in the it is what it is file...
I've been doing this dance a long time...

What I resent is what happens inside my head!
My head has been full of marshmallow fluff...

The weird sleeping schedule that
accommodates all the ups and downs of the flu...
and I'm not a championship sleeper anyway...
and the Fellini style dreams...
Also, when you're having an MS exacerbation
you're cognitive thought process is not full function...

My limbs have felt like they're wrapped in chains...
and all the missing bees have taken up residence inside me...

I'm still on the be careful what you wish for diet!
And healthy food gives us the strength to get well...

The scariest thing I've learned though
is how easy it would be to never go out again...
I'll save writing about that for another day...
That truly is a hot topic...
and too much for me to handle
my first time writing again...

How sweet to be a cloud
and just simply drift along...

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