Sunday, April 24, 2011

the mysterious universe

I believe that the universe is mysterious...
And I believe that we each have a destiny...
We may arrive at that destiny
by the choices we freely make
but I still believe
we are going where the mysterious universe
intends for us to go...

This has been my way
of making sense out of the senseless
since I was a very little girl...

It's Spring again...the season of rebirth,
reawakening, of miracles...
The holidays of Springtime are all about miracles...
and possibilities...
and the mysterious universe is nothing
if not a place of possibilities...

A few weeks ago I wrote about Ariana's sadness...
and my frustration
because I did not know how to help her...

Then I received an email
from my friend Barbara,
who has her own mysterious knack
for sending me perfectly timed emails...
containing exacting the thing
I did not know I was searching for...

This is Barbara's email...

                   Segulot
a mystical Jewish formula for good mazel
and who doesn't need some

just 27 words

"G'mar Chatima Tova! G-D Our Father,
walk through my house & take away all
my worries & illnesss & please watch over &
heal my family...Amen..."

This prayer is so powerful...
Do not break
or ask questions...
Pass this to 12 people
including me...

I sent this to Ariana...
and then,
on a whim,
I also sent it to Arlo's cell phone...

I never expected Arlo to see it...
but I knew that my daughter would see it
and understand that it was for her...
and maybe a little more as well...

The day after I forwarded Barbara's email
Arlo took a slight turn for the better...

A little over a week ago
Ariana was able to bring Arlo home...

It's Springtime...
Isn't it delightful to live
in a mysterious universe
full of possibilities...

Thursday, April 14, 2011

it's a mad mad world...

Mad is one of those strange little words
with vast and varied meanings...
and because it is an adjective
it is also a descriptive word...
so mad is a very very powerful,
potent little word...

Just to give you a quick overview
mad can be used as...
eccentric, crazy, demented, unbalanced,
bonkers, wacko, stupid, simple-minded,
hare-brained, driveling, fanatical, muddled,
confused, giddy, provoked, irrational, reckless...
the list bounces on and on...
between the silly and the dangerous...

I've tried to keep this blog
away from that very slippery slope
of the political...
that's probably why I'm writing this today
and not last Friday...

After great consideration
I feel that it would be dishonest
not to say a few words about what almost happened...

Since the issue centered around women
and health care...
I think that both are topics
for this blog...
my blog...

The first thing that I want to say
is that until everyone in Washington
gives up their fancy designer first class
health care and has to face daily
the same challenges as those people
they claim to be representing...

As far as I'm concerned,
they are blowing hot air...

Isn't there an old saying,
"you're either with us, or against us..."

As I pondered this
the first thought that came to mind was
we are living in a mad mad world...

I think most of us feel like this recently...
We wake up each morning wondering
just how much the world has changed
from just the day before...

And with all the sources of information
in the world today
I don't know anyone
who is comfortable
believing what they hear
on the news
and taking it at face value
like most people did
when I was younger...

With that said,
I am not a political writer...
I am a personal writer,
I am a metaphorical writer,
I am a poet...

So once again,
I will use my best tools
and honour National Poetry Month
and give you my metaphorical take
on what's happening...

"What's all the ruckus?"
came a shout from the distance

A  witness recalled the moon
bent benignly over the trees
and filaments of starlight
quilted together

No I know works with a net any longer
there are three clowns somewhere
asleep in the clover
though I have it on record
from a confirmed source
that one of them
has a definite preference for petunias

You really need to think
about reexamining your life
when people start whispering
about dissatisfied clowns

It really is a mad mad world...
The question used to be,
do you want to get off?

Thursday, April 7, 2011

the invisible woman in the mirror

When you have a chronic illness
being asked a simple,
"how are you?"
is the ultimate loaded question...

Not only do you have to decide
what you want to answer
but you also need to decipher
what the asker
really wants to hear...

Most of the time
you can depend on your instincts...
especially if you've been doing this dance
for a long time...

And then there are the times
when you're just too tired
to dance...

By writing this
I am claiming my share
of responsibility...

I'm not good or clear or fair
about asking
when I need something...

For me it's just easier to do nothing...
say as little as possible
and hang out with the poodles...

April is National Poetry Month
so in that spirit
since I am nothing
if not a poet at heart...

I'd like to express myself
in the way I feel I am
the most free,
the most honest,
the most me...
in a prose poem this time...

perhaps I should have used
an ordinary pencil
when I signed into some one's life

at least then
if they wanted to be rid of me
there would still be all those little scruffy bits left over
when the eraser was done working

I don't think I meant to be arrogant
when I signed my name
in vibrant inky purple

I always chose the small letters
non intrusive, but maybe still, distinctive
they suit my name
and me
look neater on the page
were quieter too
didn't cause trouble
or impose

but here I am
rounding another corner
that wicked spell caster
who recently claimed my cards
is up ahead
flicking her wrist again
turning my glorious violet ink
invisible

When you have a chronic illness
it's too easy to get into the habit
of staying home...
of being alone...
of waiting...

It's too easy to pretend
that you're doing more...