Sunday, August 28, 2011

the jester and the night crawler 2

OK...I did it again...
my hand slipped
and I pushed publish blog
instead of save
as I was typing...

I refuse to get upset!!!
Everything matters, nothing matters very much...

So I will continue now with my story...

The jester does not like it when I scoff at him...
He wants to be taken seriously...
So he grabs one leg and then the other
and flips each one in turn
like he's throwing fish...
around the bed...

He's in control...
My legs are bouncing everywhere...
There is no place to just curl up
and fall asleep...

I'm buzzing and humming
humming and buzzing
but the familiarity of it all
is lulling me into a kind of surrealistic doze...

That's when the night crawler
slick operator that he is
makes his move...

The night crawler has taken a vow...
He wants to show me
the nooks, the crannies,
the edges and the minutes
of each and every hour
of the night...

If I happen to close my eyes
and catch a wink or two of sleep
during the tour...
He sends the joker in to flip a leg
or twist my fingers into little knots...

Though jasmine scented
the summer nights here in LA
seem to be growing warmer
and more humid daily...

September is a few days away
without a hint of autumn or a breeze
in the distance...

I'm longing for lovely cool breeze...
The kind that blows gentleman callers away...




Sunday, August 7, 2011

a tad weepy...

Last Thursday,
one of my little MS nightmares came true...
and I've been a tad weepy
ever since...

I was backing down our driveway
when my right leg cramped!
My foot was on the brake
the way it always is
as I'm backing down...

Our driveway is a bit steep
but I'm quite accustomed to backing out...
I've been doing it for almost ten years now...

So there I was...
in reverse, picking up speed,
foot clamped tightly to the brake
but buzzing madly now...
and my leg cramping
as if someone had rammed a screwdriver
through it...

I reached the bottom
my foot still pressed desperately
into the brake pedal
hitting the retaining wall to my right,
cracking the bumper of the car...

My leg relaxed then...
as suddenly as it had cramped...

I am so careful not to drive
if I have even the slightest inkling
that maybe I shouldn't...

If I've taken headache meds
for several days in a row
I don't drive...

My leg or my foot
cramping while driving
is something that I've worried
myself amply crazy over...

And now it's happened...
I'm a tad weepy...
but not sure why...

I'd like to forget about it...
but I won't...
not my nature...

So, as my friend Annisa says,
it's a sweet warning...

And I can remind myself,
Everything matters, nothing matters very much...